


Hard to Do

by eerian_sadow



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Breakup, F/M, Gen, Mentions of canon character death, post DotM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:10:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2119731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eerian_sadow/pseuds/eerian_sadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>randomly inspired shower bunny, who apparently wanted to smooth over Wheelie’s description of Mikaela as a bitch in DOTM.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Hard to Do

**Author's Note:**

> randomly inspired shower bunny, who apparently wanted to smooth over Wheelie’s description of Mikaela as a bitch in DOTM.

Title: Hard to Do  
Universe: Bayverse  
Rating: PG  
Characters: Sam Witwicky, Mikaela Banes, appearances of others  
Warnings: ANGST, mentions of character death, spoilers for Dark of the Moon, bring your tissues  
Notes: randomly inspired shower bunny, who apparently wanted to smooth over Wheelie’s description of Mikaela as a bitch in DOTM.

  
She broke up with him during his sophomore year of college. She didn't give him any warning, just showed up at his apartment with her key ring and a suitcase.

"Wait, you're leaving? You can't leave! You said 'I love you' and you can't just take that back!"

"It’s not about whether I love you or not, Sam." Her smile had been so sad--he would remember that, later. "I have to go. I have to be somewhere where I can be me."

"What do you mean 'be you'? You are you. You're Mikaela, the smartest, funniest, best girlfriend to ever exist."

"And that's the problem. That's _all I am_ , Sam. Just the girlfriend. I was by the base the other day and Epps couldn't even remember my name. I was just 'Sam's girl'. I want more out of my life than that. I want to be more than 'Sam's girl' or 'Mike's daughter' or 'the hot chick that details the bikes'. I need to be somewhere where i can be Mikaela and not have all that baggage."

"That's probably the best 'it's not you, it's me' speech I’ve ever heard." He worried his lower lip between his teeth for a moment. "You'll be back, right?"

"Probably not. I don't have anything left here anymore. Dad got thrown in jail again last night."

"Oh." He tried not to let on how crushed his heart was feeling. "What are you gonna do with Bones?"

"I don't even know where I’m going, Sam. I can't take him with me. I was... i was hoping you'd watch him. And Wheelie and Brains."

"You'll tell me when you're settled, right? So you can come get him?"

"Yeah. And I’ll send you money for food and the vet." Her voice trembled, just a little.

"Okay." He looked down at the floor, trying to force back the sudden tears in his eyes. "I'll miss you."

"I know." She took one of his hands and pressed her keys into it. Then she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheeks. "I do love you, Sam."

She turned and walked away before he could find any words. He stared down at the keys in his hand for long minutes after she was gone. "Yeah. Love you too, Mikaela."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Wait, where's the Warrior Goddess?!" Wheelie was angry when Sam was the one to open the garage door to let Bonecrusher out in the morning.

"She's gone."

"Gone?"

"Like gone-gone?" Brains asked softly. "Forever?"

"Yeah." He picked up a random tool and threw it across the room, listening to the clatter as it hit parts and other tools on its way to the ground. "She's gone and she's not coming back."

He didn't offer any further explanation as he went to make sure the dog didn't jump the fence or terrorize the cat from next door.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He stared at her phone number for a long time after they got back to the apartment. Carly left him in peace--as much as he could have right now, anyway--and went to get cleaned up. He hadn't even changed before dropping into the chair in front of his desk.

It was stupid, he knew, that he hadn't ever deleted her number. She'd probably changed it half a dozen times by now, moving around to where ever and never calling to give him updates. But still, he had to try. She deserved to know.

The phone picked up on the second ring. _"Oh God, Sam! Are you okay? I heard about Chicago."_

"Yeah, I’m fine. You're not... There aren't any Decepticons where you are, are there?" Even after so long with no contact, he still wanted her to be safe.

_"I'm not sure. They've got us all locked in at the airport in Toronto right now."_

"Make sure you stay safe. I don't think they have portable saws at the airport." The joke was weak, but it was the best he could manage. There had been far too much loss this time.

_"I will. But you didn't call just to make bad jokes, did you."_

He smiled involuntarily at how well she still knew him. "No. I knew no one else would think to tell you now." He had to stop and swallow the hard lump of sorrow in his throat. "Ironhide... Ironhide's gone."

 _"Gone?"_ She went so silent that he could hear announcer on the PA system in the airport. _"What do you mean, gone?"_

"He's dead. Sentinel shot him in the back and now he's dead." Saying it out loud gave everything a finality that he had been pushing to the back of his mind until now and he broke down into sobs. "I was right there, Mickey. I was right there and all i could do was watch him die."

 _"Oh, God."_ On the other end of the phone line, she was sobbing too. _"I'm coming home, Sam. I’ll be there as soon as i can get out of this airport."_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He expected things to be awkward at the memorial, but the Autobots accepted her presence as if it was a given and as if she had never left. Epps had hugged her and welcomed her back and Simmons had declared loudly that things hadn't been the same while she was gone.

They stood side by side during the service, hands held tightly as Annabelle Lennox cried loudly enough for everyone present. Carly simply offered them both tissues and supported them as best she could.

And later, at the wake Epps insisted on throwing because there had been "too damn many tears today", Mikaela was laughing and reminiscing with their friends and he could see something subtle about her that he hadn't ever noticed before. A set of her shoulders, a certain posture, that smile that finally made it all the way to her eyes.

Finally, he understood.

"Sam." Carly's voice was warm and welcoming. "If you're thinking of dumping me after all that--"

"I'm not. I just finally get what she was saying to me when we broke up."  



End file.
